@boofredlay said:
Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow at Wal-Mart for Lizzie, our
wonderful yellow lab dog and was standing in line about to check out. A
woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
First thing I thought was "where is your sign and white cane,
lady" but decided to go with it...SO....on impulse, I told her that no,
I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Weight Loss Diet
again. I said I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the
hospital the last time; but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in
both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet; and that the way
that it works is that you load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete... so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story to say the least. Totally horrified, the lady asked
if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told her
no; I had stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's aRsE and a car hit us
both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack since he was
laughing so hard. Wal-Mart has asked me not to shop there anymore....
The version I know ends this way.-:
Were you poisoned by the dog food to get to hospital?
No. I was sitting in the road washing my ball5 and got run over.
