@dave r said:
I don't know know where he gets this stuff.
Emo Philips. ๐
Some others:
"I love to go down to the playground, and watch the kids running and jumping and screaming. They don't know I'm only shooting blanks."
"Today I came home and someone had replaced all my possessions with identical copies".
"My parents taught me how to swim the hard way, I thought I'd never get out of that sack."
"Most kids get a rubber duck to play with in the bathtub, all I got was the toaster."
When I was a child, my parents told me
"Don't go near the cellar door
you can play anywhere else you like
but don't go near the cellar door.
One day, when they were gone
I went to the cellar door
and I opened it
and I saw things,
things I'd never seen before....trees, and grass, and the sky...