Do we have a Joke Thread goin here?
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If a man speaks in the middle of a forest and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?
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read a really interesting article on dwarfs the other day.
aparently 1 in 7 is a doctor.
Pav
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1/7 of dwarfs. . .(is it PC to use that term?) are dopey too.
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What do you call a blind Bambi?
No-eye deer.
What do you call a blind Bambi with no legs?
Still no-eye deer.
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A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs.'
The doctor replied, 'I know you can't - I've cut off your arms !Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra....
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@alan fraser said:
What do you call a blind Bambi?
No-eye deer.
What do you call a blind Bambi with no legs?
Still no-eye deer.
Those are some real groaners Alan. How about this one...
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Elephino
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@alan fraser said:
Bambi with no legs?
how about a woman with one leg?
ilene
japanese woman with one leg?
irene
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During a visit to a mental asylum, a visitor asked, “How do you decide if a patient should be institutionalized.”
"Well," said the Director, "we fill a bath, and then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I see," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug.
Do you want a bed near the window?" -
two guys walk into a bar..
you'd think one of them would've seen it...
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Two goldfish in a tank, one turns to the other and asks "So, do you know how to drive this thing?".
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Two dyslexics walk into a bra.
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2 ballerinas walk in to a barre. . .
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@jackson said:
Two dyslexics walk into a bra.
An old VP of mine tried to convince me that dyslexics have daily sex
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The scene opens in a cheap motel.
Laying together side by side in bed are a chicken and an egg.
The chicken rolls over, lites a smoke and says.....
"Well I guess that answers that question, doesn't it." -
@dale said:
The scene opens in a cheap motel.
Laying together side by side in bed are a chicken and an egg.
The chicken rolls over, lites a smoke and says.....
"Well I guess that answers that question, doesn't it."hmm.. i guess they now know the answer.. i still don't know which one came first..
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I guess by the fact that the chicken mentioned it, with a degree of sarcasm I should add, we can assume the egg came first.
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A statistician was laying with his head in the oven and feet in the freezer. On the average, he felt fine.
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Letter from Sir Archibald Clerk Kerr (HM Ambassador Moscow 1943) to Lord Pembroke (Foreign Office London):
"My Dear Reggie,
In these dark days man tends to look for a little shaft of light that spill from Heaven. My days are probably darker then yours, and I need my God I do, all the light I can get. But I am a decent fellow, and I do not want to be mean and selfish about what little brightness is shed upon me from time to time. So I propose to share with you a tiny flash that has illuminated my somber life and tell you that God has given me a new Turkish colleague whose card tells me that he is called Mustapha Kunt.We all feel like that, Reggie, now and then, especially when spring is upon us, but few of us would care to put it on our cards. It takes a Turk to do that."
C.K HM Ambassador
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