There are obviously many different fitness regimes...the important thing is to end up with buffed body, a clear, lucid, razor sharp mind and the ability to fell an adversery, if necessary, with a lightning fast, spinning kick to the jaw.
My program generally goes some thing like this:
Yesterday for example I woke at 10.30am [damn garbage truck]...lit my first Camel for the day and while waiting for the coffee to boil finished the dregs from the cask of red along with some cold left over Prawn and Garlic Pizza [seafood is very important in my diet]
I walked to the letter box and back [heavy, forced breathing]...scoffed a couple of Alkaseltsas, poured myself a stiff Scotch to clear the mind and got down to work.
At midday I jumped in the car drove down to Mackas for a couple of kingsize double cheese burgers with a family serve of chips and picked up a six pack of Fosters on the way back to wash lunch down.
Did a a bit of work but realized I needed some well earned rest so flaked out on the vibrating bed [good for circulation].
Woken about 8 that night by the dog licking my face. I realised my consumption of red wine [good for the heart] for the day was way down so sprinted the 25 metres to th local pub and got the usual 4 litre cask of plonk and by the time I got back home my regular Pizza delivery had just arrived.
After I finished the Pizzas I realised I had forgotten to get a couple of packs of smokes for the night so it was back to the pub [walking this time...more heavy breathing].
So I settled down in front of the TV for the night and finally hit the vibrating bed about 1 AM...the wine had run out anyway.
Im going to be so fit I'll be dangerous!!!
