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Do we have a Joke Thread goin here?

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  • P Offline
    pav_3j
    last edited by 13 Mar 2009, 13:08

    read a really interesting article on dwarfs the other day.

    aparently 1 in 7 is a doctor.

    Pav

    Just won the 'Who is Least Competitive Championships' where trying to win will make you lose. Trying to lose makes you win which makes you lose. Not trying at all makes you lose which makes you win which makes you lose.

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    • D Offline
      david_h
      last edited by 13 Mar 2009, 14:55

      1/7 of dwarfs. . .(is it PC to use that term?) are dopey too.

      If I make it look easy...It is probably easy

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      • A Offline
        Alan Fraser
        last edited by 13 Mar 2009, 15:56

        What do you call a blind Bambi?

        No-eye deer.

        What do you call a blind Bambi with no legs?

        Still no-eye deer.

        3D Figures
        Were you required to walk 500 miles? Were you advised to walk 500 more?
        You could be entitled to compensation. Call the Pro Claimers now!

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        • A Offline
          Alan Fraser
          last edited by 13 Mar 2009, 16:00

          A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
          He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs.'
          The doctor replied, 'I know you can't - I've cut off your arms !

          Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
          One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'

          I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

          A dyslexic man walks into a bra....

          3D Figures
          Were you required to walk 500 miles? Were you advised to walk 500 more?
          You could be entitled to compensation. Call the Pro Claimers now!

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          • E Offline
            ehaflett
            last edited by 13 Mar 2009, 16:01

            @alan fraser said:

            What do you call a blind Bambi?

            No-eye deer.

            What do you call a blind Bambi with no legs?

            Still no-eye deer.

            Those are some real groaners Alan. How about this one...

            What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

            Elephino

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            • J Offline
              jeff hammond
              last edited by 13 Mar 2009, 16:04

              @alan fraser said:

              Bambi with no legs?

              how about a woman with one leg?

              ilene

              japanese woman with one leg?

              irene

              dotdotdot

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              • A Offline
                Alan Fraser
                last edited by 13 Mar 2009, 16:12

                During a visit to a mental asylum, a visitor asked, “How do you decide if a patient should be institutionalized.”
                "Well," said the Director, "we fill a bath, and then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub."
                "Oh, I see," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
                "No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug.
                Do you want a bed near the window?"

                3D Figures
                Were you required to walk 500 miles? Were you advised to walk 500 more?
                You could be entitled to compensation. Call the Pro Claimers now!

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                • J Offline
                  jeff hammond
                  last edited by 13 Mar 2009, 16:16

                  two guys walk into a bar..

                  you'd think one of them would've seen it...

                  dotdotdot

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                  • J Offline
                    Jackson
                    last edited by 13 Mar 2009, 16:16

                    Two goldfish in a tank, one turns to the other and asks "So, do you know how to drive this thing?".

                    Jackson

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                    • J Offline
                      Jackson
                      last edited by 13 Mar 2009, 16:17

                      Two dyslexics walk into a bra.

                      Jackson

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                      • J Offline
                        jeff hammond
                        last edited by 13 Mar 2009, 16:21

                        @jackson said:

                        Two dyslexics walk into a bra.

                        haha

                        dotdotdot

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                        • D Offline
                          david_h
                          last edited by 13 Mar 2009, 17:13

                          2 ballerinas walk in to a barre. . .

                          If I make it look easy...It is probably easy

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                          • T Offline
                            tim
                            last edited by 14 Mar 2009, 01:13

                            @jackson said:

                            Two dyslexics walk into a bra.

                            An old VP of mine tried to convince me that dyslexics have daily sex

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                            • D Offline
                              dale
                              last edited by 15 Mar 2009, 14:22

                              The scene opens in a cheap motel.
                              Laying together side by side in bed are a chicken and an egg.
                              The chicken rolls over, lites a smoke and says.....
                              "Well I guess that answers that question, doesn't it."

                              Just monkeying around....like Monsanto

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                              • J Offline
                                jeff hammond
                                last edited by 15 Mar 2009, 14:58

                                @dale said:

                                The scene opens in a cheap motel.
                                Laying together side by side in bed are a chicken and an egg.
                                The chicken rolls over, lites a smoke and says.....
                                "Well I guess that answers that question, doesn't it."

                                hmm.. i guess they now know the answer.. i still don't know which one came first.. 😄

                                dotdotdot

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                                • S Offline
                                  solo
                                  last edited by 15 Mar 2009, 15:06

                                  I guess by the fact that the chicken mentioned it, with a degree of sarcasm I should add, we can assume the egg came first.

                                  http://www.solos-art.com

                                  If you see a toilet in your dreams do not use it.

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                                  • E Offline
                                    Ecuadorian
                                    last edited by 18 Mar 2009, 05:43

                                    http://icanhascheezburger.wordpress.com/files/2008/01/funny-pictures-mythbuster-cat.jpg

                                    http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/jamie-hyneman.jpg

                                    -Miguel Lescano
                                    Subscribe to my house plans YouTube channel! (30K+ subs)

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                                    • D Offline
                                      Dave R
                                      last edited by 18 Mar 2009, 10:58

                                      A statistician was laying with his head in the oven and feet in the freezer. On the average, he felt fine.

                                      Etaoin Shrdlu

                                      %

                                      (THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE)

                                      G28 X0.0 Y0.0 Z0.0

                                      M30

                                      %

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                                      • G Offline
                                        Gaieus
                                        last edited by 18 Mar 2009, 19:28

                                        Letter from Sir Archibald Clerk Kerr (HM Ambassador Moscow 1943) to Lord Pembroke (Foreign Office London):

                                        "My Dear Reggie,
                                        In these dark days man tends to look for a little shaft of light that spill from Heaven. My days are probably darker then yours, and I need my God I do, all the light I can get. But I am a decent fellow, and I do not want to be mean and selfish about what little brightness is shed upon me from time to time. So I propose to share with you a tiny flash that has illuminated my somber life and tell you that God has given me a new Turkish colleague whose card tells me that he is called Mustapha Kunt.

                                        We all feel like that, Reggie, now and then, especially when spring is upon us, but few of us would care to put it on our cards. It takes a Turk to do that."

                                        C.K HM Ambassador

                                        Gai...

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                                        • E Offline
                                          Ecuadorian
                                          last edited by 23 Mar 2009, 08:07

                                          http://roflrazzi.wordpress.com/files/2009/01/celebrity-pictures-brosnan-bond.jpg

                                          -Miguel Lescano
                                          Subscribe to my house plans YouTube channel! (30K+ subs)

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