Do we have a Joke Thread goin here?
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A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?"
Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven."
Mary answers, "He's in my heart."
Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!"
The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.
"Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?" -
Doris and Betty are sitting outside having a cigarette when it suddenly starts to rain... Doris pulls out a condom, snips the end off and then slips it over her cigarette to keep it dry...
Betty: "That's wonderful Doris, where did you get it??"
Doris: "They sell them at the chemists, dear."
Betty duly goes along to the chemists and asks: "Have you got any of those condom thingies?"
Chemist: "Certainly dear. What size?"
Betty: "Big enough to fit a Camel..."
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What does DNA stand for ?
The National Dyslexia Association
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If a man speaks in the middle of a forest and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?
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read a really interesting article on dwarfs the other day.
aparently 1 in 7 is a doctor.
Pav
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1/7 of dwarfs. . .(is it PC to use that term?) are dopey too.
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What do you call a blind Bambi?
No-eye deer.
What do you call a blind Bambi with no legs?
Still no-eye deer.
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A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs.'
The doctor replied, 'I know you can't - I've cut off your arms !Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra....
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@alan fraser said:
What do you call a blind Bambi?
No-eye deer.
What do you call a blind Bambi with no legs?
Still no-eye deer.
Those are some real groaners Alan. How about this one...
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
Elephino
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@alan fraser said:
Bambi with no legs?
how about a woman with one leg?
ilene
japanese woman with one leg?
irene
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During a visit to a mental asylum, a visitor asked, “How do you decide if a patient should be institutionalized.”
"Well," said the Director, "we fill a bath, and then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I see," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug.
Do you want a bed near the window?" -
two guys walk into a bar..
you'd think one of them would've seen it...
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Two goldfish in a tank, one turns to the other and asks "So, do you know how to drive this thing?".
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Two dyslexics walk into a bra.
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2 ballerinas walk in to a barre. . .
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@jackson said:
Two dyslexics walk into a bra.
An old VP of mine tried to convince me that dyslexics have daily sex
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The scene opens in a cheap motel.
Laying together side by side in bed are a chicken and an egg.
The chicken rolls over, lites a smoke and says.....
"Well I guess that answers that question, doesn't it." -
@dale said:
The scene opens in a cheap motel.
Laying together side by side in bed are a chicken and an egg.
The chicken rolls over, lites a smoke and says.....
"Well I guess that answers that question, doesn't it."hmm.. i guess they now know the answer.. i still don't know which one came first..
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I guess by the fact that the chicken mentioned it, with a degree of sarcasm I should add, we can assume the egg came first.
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