Granted, your legs have been cut off.

I wish I didn't take yesterday afternoon off. I feel guilty so I'm back in here this weekend.

Granted, for me...you get to keep working to pick up my slack. You know, that's a great idea....I'm taking the afternoon off. Later!

Oh yea, I wish everyone could come with me. We could have an end of summer party down at the lake!

Granted, but good thing I'm also wearing my rubber chicken clothing as well...and since I am far more intelligent, I can "matrix-like" control the bullets and aim them at whoever I wanted blasting them with a multitude of shots that penatrate even the toughest of rubber for I am Intelligent Rubber Man, happy as the rest of the world, except you, who gets to live the life of everyones unhappiness.

I wish I could go downstairs from my office and have sushi for lunch...it smells so yummy.

Granted, but it's 110 degrees everyday for 2 years.

I wish I had a license to shoot the stupid people of the world, which never included myself.

Um, I think something ate their bikini bottoms, I don't see them. However, granted your kids don't fight anymore, but you are blessed with 18 more and they now run the house.

I wish life was as simple as wishing something up like this.

Granted, but it only comes in baker's chocolate.

I wish SpongeBob was real and I could visit Bikini Bottom.

That's like totally granted dude, but chocolate now tastes like grape nuts.

I wish I could stop and start time.

Hahaha...hell yea! Granted, but you are now famous.

I wish I could go back in time like Bill and Ted.

Oh my gawd, me too...so yeah...granted! But now you can never take it off.

I wish I could see to the outskits of the universe.

Granted, but now rubber chickens are being shot and killed for their rubber and made into clothing.

I wish society wasn't so concerned with my life.

Granted, but now you have to stay up 23.5 hrs a day with me.

I wish I was done with my work so I could go play.

Granted, but now you have to work all weekend without pay.

I wish I wasn't so tired today.

Granted, but now you can't answer any posts...not even in a correct sentence.

I wish I could video tape aliens without being probed.

Granted, but now you are knee deep in nose snot.

I wish be invisible when I wanted.

Granted, but it's a shame it was all put into Enron.

I wish I could get back to work...my deadline is looming for next Wednesday.

Granted, but then it would only be played by you (solo).

I wish we had better/more smileys.

Granted, but Crest goes out of business and everyone blames you.

I wish my girlfriend didn't want it so much...

Granted, but all you had to eat was a pea and a crouton.

I wish it were lunch, I'm starving...

Granted, but it has taken over the world.

I wish I lived 20,000 years into the future.

Granted, but now you have so much work you're working 20 hrs a day.

I wish I didn't have so many secrets...