Granted, but only after you'awl come to Canada for some driving lessons. We'll teach you what real beer tastes like too.

I wish those women who grow their fingernails long would realize how stupid & ugly it looks.

Granted but then you'll be obsessed with the Mondays that never happen.

I wish I had a pizza with my name on it.

Granted but being a pornstar is more work than it's cracked up to be.

I wish I could appreciate cricket.

Granted but its caused a rip in the time space continuum. Now because of your selfish wish, your team are all a bunch of old farts without any chance of ever winning again, and Dan Quayle is your President and he's married to Britney Spears.

I wish I was a better listener.

Go ahead and move into the office. (If anyone asks say "Ross said it was okay"). Unfortunately after you move in you discover the real reason it was vacated. (Fleas will be gnawing on your legs).

I wish for some really good wishes...

Granted, but you will be so fast you'll have trouble stopping.

I wish Crest would make Sushi-flavored toothpaste.

Granted, but everyone else is 'more' wealthy so you still feel poor.

I wish I could understand why the Boo wants more kids.

Granted, but every time you look at it you'll shrink an inch.

I wish I could grant wishes without being so mean.

Granted, but your bar has run out of booze.

I wish Csaba wouldn't drink so much.

Granted, but you'll have to keep me in beer for the rest of my life.

I wish this game was real.

Granted, but you have to wear lead goggles.

I wish you would grow a third eye in the middle of your forehead.

If you already have a homepage then you already have a url for it.

Hey Mike Lucey -- You seem to have something in your eye. Rub it man 'til it stops twitching.

Maggy -- can you explain you current Avitar? It kind-a looks like you are sleeping but Tiger Wood's driver cozy is attacking your chin. Didn't it wake you up?

Regards, Ross

Cheers Phil! Congratulations on the new addition to your family! That pic is a great avitar.

Regards, Ross

Whenever I see this 'Beanie Baby' I think of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry's friend has the ugly baby.

I did warn you not to look. You can only blame yourself!

It's a pic that has wandered around the email circuit and internet for years. I wonder if it is real. It does look a bit like it could be a rendered model -- and it seems like the kind of subject somebody would model. If it is real wouldn't it represent quite a bit of overkill?

Thought John might like this.

Granted -- all memorized but you start using really big words all the time and soon nobody wants to talk with you. Also the folks at the drive-thru restaurant cannot understand one word you say and are unable to process your orders. You are very hungry now.

I wish my curried soup was more SPICY! I feel robbed.

Granted but the postal service returns them as undeliverable.

I wish I had another beer.