Brothers, and Sisters,
So, yeah, while tipping friendly over at the Cat and the Fiddle, I happened to bump into S's friend from the slammer, "Be Open."
We exchanged a very few Jack bird words, and in a half a glass, she made like a tree, and blew away.
Nice, but still very frantic.
This got me thinking about the night of "Pole dancing" over at my crash box, and how I managed no never get round to the Jack bird swinging use of the Nintendo controller...
Here's where it sputtered to a "look out, red light..."
@durant hapke said:
So I hop into the front room, and yeah, the pair are working the dance floor without a pole -- clearly that's what they are wishing they had, but no dice in my dive, and no square footage (a term I've picked up using SU), but whatever the action, they are trying to do a real bump and grind bit of a show.
I dial back the I-pod, receive the expected drunken "boo's," but quickly take a seat, and shout out a, "bring it, girls, plow me a tractor show."
So the music and the curves grind on and on for a bit when -- THWAP!! -- Tiger power booze Robin Samantha lets fly with a cracker Jack smack to "Be Easy'" wild shaking Ponderosa, "light it on fire, Little Joe."
It was all the foam churning in Sam's gut pocket that made her swing so hard, I'm thinking, or aim so poorly, but either way, I was donkey shock by the impact -- it was percussive -- a cannon blast of full on five fingers.
Sip beer and wait for the fireworks...
I'm thinking "Be Easy" might swing round with a real monkey punch, put a bit of that Alien Chest Buster into Sam's guts from the out side in -- "Squeak, an dribble blood, and run, little Phallic Giger goblin, run screaming cross the table, and disappear into the night (or in space "no time" as night and day are the same."
That's the action I'm looking at seeing, but no...
No...
No...
Like a crazy Goose Jack guzzling Electric blue 80's Dark Brothers super star, she just sticks that rump back, pushing it back and around, and coos, "Mmmm, Damn, yeah, serve it up like that, serve it like that!"
I've known Sam a very good long time, and the women girl thing does have issues, but needing to be coxed into "doing" things ain't one of them... Doing or trying, or doing agin, or trying twice, she's all about that -- I was hoping "Be Easy" had already figured that much out.
Do you remember that super old cartoon George of the Jungle? Yeah, well, in the opening of that show there is this theme song with a big batch of bongos and drums going on, and the bongos and the beat can really get you excited -- I flipped for that action back in the day -- but anyway it has this really crazy beat, and that's what Sam the Man started slapping out all a mad crazy about town.
"Be Easy," eyes clamped shut -- her mouth kind of gaped into a "O" shape, and that crazy twitching body turned stone like and still.
And Sam "Wham a Bam," she just kept at it...
I mean she was like on the Jack bird front lines of Spank Down the Enemy -- she was switching hands every few whacks -- and they where turning fire engine red -- like her fingers where glowing little red popsicles.
Then the music ended -- and the room was nothing but a echo box of clatter, and...
"Ba, bee, yeah, do, it, do, bee, yeah, stove shoot, don't, hot, harder, cream," things like that trickled out of that round "O" from time to time -- and, graphic action as it is, a long pipet of silver droll .
For a Jack bird moment I thought I should tell Sam to "just stop, stop the tom tom club," but then again, getting a whack or two in myself crossed my mine...
Perhaps the best idea was to recommend that skirt make like a banana and peel, but Samantha doesn't go in for that kind of "boring male fantasy" action, she might just stop everything -- so I lit a fresh Camel and just went for the ride.
So now, "Be Easy" starts getting big alligator tears a moving. Her face is a beat red kind of affair now -- sweating a good bit -- and her eye are letting go an building flood.
And then she starts to sobbing.
Sobbing and shaking, sobbing and tearing.
Finally Sam pipes in with, "That all you want?"
And this girl, "Be Easy," ain't taking it all that easy. She sobs, "Kaak, kak, a Whimmmmp?"
Sam is all, "A what?" (you could tell she was asking for something).
"Kak, Gak, Gat a a whip?"
I have a lot of odd junk hanging around that dive, but no, I have no whip, and if I did have a whip, I would have to believe that Sam would have seen it, or I would have shown it to her -- but all red handed and panting, Sam turns to me, and goes, "D, you have a whip?"
Perhaps my eyes told her before my smoky mouth opened, but before I could get out, "Of course I do, Sam, I have an entire closet filled with said equestrian accouterment..." she reached over atop the television stand and grabbed hold of one of my Nintendo controllers -- not one off the cube, rather the old school 64 variety.
Holding onto the Jack handle, she wound that action cord around her hand and set to going Indiana Jones with said cord on, known behind.
Crack.
Crack.
Crack.
"Give me the idol, I'll give you the Nintendo Cord..."
Everything kind of "unwound" from there, no pun intended, or needed at this juncture.
I thought it might bring the entire event to a head, but it seemed to be the wrong implement for maximum pleasure, and Sam was loosing her steam...
But just then, with out any warning, "Be Easy" spun round grabbed the controller and sent it sailing across the room.
What? Yeah, it hit the wall just by this old scribble I did of the cup with the fish poking out of it, the one featured in the hand of the page of cups, and though it didn't appear to break, it hit hell a hard and bounced all damaged looking across the floor. Ouch!
"That's not my feeling, that's not going to work," "Be easy" screamed at the top of her Jack bird lung bags, "Get a belt! and take your clothes off!"
Well, this might all sound quite entertaining, and it was for a time, but now it had car wreck written all over it -- it had all gone the way of the pizza left out on the counter, it might look tasty, but it's lost it's first bake heat, and will never be like that again.
I stood up and flipped the light on and off, "you can stay up all night, but you can't stay here."
The pair plopped down on the couch, and Sam said, "we'll sleep then..."
And they did.
I went out on the pack porch for one more, and by the time I stumbled on into my room, they where sawing.
Durant "Zela rules" Hapke