Dog-Cat Diary
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Excerpt from a Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk Bones! My favourite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!Excerpt from a Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity....My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. I continue to make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they made condescending remarks about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,so he is safe….. For now.
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Well, cat's diary is more interesting
But the dog's live have more fun 
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Get the dog a twitter account--except he has no fingers.
Get the cat a bus ride out of town--way out of town. -
So, where is the bird's diary...?
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Dogs like to have masters.
Cats like to have servants. -
@tig said:
Dogs like to have masters.
Cats like to have servants.Well TIG, that give new meaning to the phase, "The country is going to the dogs". Darn you have a way of making every thing so clear, a Renascence man.
Ken
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