Dog-Cat Diary

Alan Fraser

Excerpt from a Dog's Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk Bones! My favourite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

Excerpt from a Cat's Diary

Day 983 of my captivity....

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. I continue to make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they made condescending remarks about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,so he is safe….. For now.

derei

Well, cat's diary is more interesting But the dog's live have more fun

mitcorb

Get the dog a twitter account--except he has no fingers.
Get the cat a bus ride out of town--way out of town.

john.warburton

So, where is the bird's diary...?

derei

@john.warburton said:

So, where is the bird's diary...?

It's a mockingbird, so it takes from all

TIG

Dogs like to have masters.
Cats like to have servants.

ken

@tig said:

Dogs like to have masters.
Cats like to have servants.

Well TIG, that give new meaning to the phase, "The country is going to the dogs". Darn you have a way of making every thing so clear, a Renascence man.

Ken