The witnesses.

[Mike Amos]

Yes, THOSE witnesses.

During the lockdown they would put letters in the post but now they are back in force. I try to be accepting of the beliefs of othersm seriously, being a Trekkie must take some consideration after all.

They have some inventive schemes to get into our hojmes, today the option box ticked was "Your landlord says we can come in so you have to allow us to enter". That has the same chance of success as would taking a short run at a rolling doughnut and expecting a hole in one, My golf game is atrocious by now too,

Thing is, I have asked them not to return and been told they would not do so yet, they are back.

So, does anyone here have a mthod of deterrence that works?

Sadly, I have no pool so a shark is out and no way in devonshire is a croakodile going to fit in my shower. Lions and tigers are out too, we have our housing estate issue limit of felines, damnit. If my little sister was local I would get her to talk to them, cue five seconds of gibbering and dust in the direction of the hills.

Not sure I would get away with actual murder either, always someone to suggest taking a chill pill/missing the point.

A chemist walks up to his counter and is approached by a very unhappy red face man, coughing his internal organs out of his ears. Chemist is unhappy it's lunch time so he tells the customer his assistant will deal with his problem.

1 hour later the chemist goes back to his shop and see's the same customer leaning against his front window, even redder than before.

He goes to the assistant and asks what the situation is and the assistant say's "I gave him exlax". "What, how much". "A whole bottle, say's the assistant".

Chemist replies that is not safe and they will get sued but the assistant mildly replies "Is he coughing though"?

I am having thoughts on this, how might I procede......?