When insults had class...

[tomsdesk]

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it. " - Groucho Marx

[Dave R]

Ah, yes. enjoyable.

[Alan Fraser]

More famous Churchillisms:-

Lady Astor: “You, Sir, are drunk, very, very drunk.”
Churchill: “…and you Madam, are ugly, very, very ugly….but I shall be sober in the morning.”

“A fanatic is a person who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.”

“This is the sort of English up with which I will not put”
(To a pedant, complaining about a split infinitive.)

“The Almighty in His infinite wisdom did not see fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.”

To Chamberlain, after his return from Munich, famously waving the agreement with Hitler and declaring “Peace in our time.”
“You were given the choice between war and dishonour. You chose dishonour; and you will have war.”

On Sir Stafford Cripps (Chancellor of the Exchequer).
“There but for the Grace of God, goes God.”

On Ramsay Macdonald (Prime Minister)
“Macdonald has the gift of compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thought.”

[Stinkie]

"If you read André Gide aloud for ten minutes, your breath will stink." - Francis Picabia

[john.warburton]

First time that I have smiled today. Excellent stuff.

[linea]

Virginia Woolf "If you were my husband I'd put poison in your tea"
Winston Churchill " If I was your husband I'd gladly drink it"

[david_h]

Churchill on Clement Attlee:

He's a very modest man. . .who has much to be modest about."