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    Do we have a Joke Thread goin here?

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    • P Offline
      pav_3j
      last edited by

      read a really interesting article on dwarfs the other day.

      aparently 1 in 7 is a doctor.

      Pav

      Just won the 'Who is Least Competitive Championships' where trying to win will make you lose. Trying to lose makes you win which makes you lose. Not trying at all makes you lose which makes you win which makes you lose.

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      • david_hD Offline
        david_h
        last edited by

        1/7 of dwarfs. . .(is it PC to use that term?) are dopey too.

        If I make it look easy...It is probably easy

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        • Alan FraserA Offline
          Alan Fraser
          last edited by

          What do you call a blind Bambi?

          No-eye deer.

          What do you call a blind Bambi with no legs?

          Still no-eye deer.

          3D Figures
          Were you required to walk 500 miles? Were you advised to walk 500 more?
          You could be entitled to compensation. Call the Pro Claimers now!

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          • Alan FraserA Offline
            Alan Fraser
            last edited by

            A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
            He shouted, 'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs.'
            The doctor replied, 'I know you can't - I've cut off your arms !

            Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
            One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'

            I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.

            A dyslexic man walks into a bra....

            3D Figures
            Were you required to walk 500 miles? Were you advised to walk 500 more?
            You could be entitled to compensation. Call the Pro Claimers now!

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            • E Offline
              ehaflett
              last edited by

              @alan fraser said:

              What do you call a blind Bambi?

              No-eye deer.

              What do you call a blind Bambi with no legs?

              Still no-eye deer.

              Those are some real groaners Alan. How about this one...

              What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

              Elephino

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              • jeff hammondJ Offline
                jeff hammond
                last edited by

                @alan fraser said:

                Bambi with no legs?

                how about a woman with one leg?

                ilene

                japanese woman with one leg?

                irene

                dotdotdot

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                • Alan FraserA Offline
                  Alan Fraser
                  last edited by

                  During a visit to a mental asylum, a visitor asked, “How do you decide if a patient should be institutionalized.”
                  "Well," said the Director, "we fill a bath, and then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub."
                  "Oh, I see," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
                  "No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug.
                  Do you want a bed near the window?"

                  3D Figures
                  Were you required to walk 500 miles? Were you advised to walk 500 more?
                  You could be entitled to compensation. Call the Pro Claimers now!

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                  • jeff hammondJ Offline
                    jeff hammond
                    last edited by

                    two guys walk into a bar..

                    you'd think one of them would've seen it...

                    dotdotdot

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                    • J Offline
                      Jackson
                      last edited by

                      Two goldfish in a tank, one turns to the other and asks "So, do you know how to drive this thing?".

                      Jackson

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                      • J Offline
                        Jackson
                        last edited by

                        Two dyslexics walk into a bra.

                        Jackson

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                        • jeff hammondJ Offline
                          jeff hammond
                          last edited by

                          @jackson said:

                          Two dyslexics walk into a bra.

                          haha

                          dotdotdot

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                          • david_hD Offline
                            david_h
                            last edited by

                            2 ballerinas walk in to a barre. . .

                            If I make it look easy...It is probably easy

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                            • T Offline
                              tim
                              last edited by

                              @jackson said:

                              Two dyslexics walk into a bra.

                              An old VP of mine tried to convince me that dyslexics have daily sex

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                              • daleD Offline
                                dale
                                last edited by

                                The scene opens in a cheap motel.
                                Laying together side by side in bed are a chicken and an egg.
                                The chicken rolls over, lites a smoke and says.....
                                "Well I guess that answers that question, doesn't it."

                                Just monkeying around....like Monsanto

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                                • jeff hammondJ Offline
                                  jeff hammond
                                  last edited by

                                  @dale said:

                                  The scene opens in a cheap motel.
                                  Laying together side by side in bed are a chicken and an egg.
                                  The chicken rolls over, lites a smoke and says.....
                                  "Well I guess that answers that question, doesn't it."

                                  hmm.. i guess they now know the answer.. i still don't know which one came first.. 😄

                                  dotdotdot

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                                  • soloS Offline
                                    solo
                                    last edited by

                                    I guess by the fact that the chicken mentioned it, with a degree of sarcasm I should add, we can assume the egg came first.

                                    http://www.solos-art.com

                                    If you see a toilet in your dreams do not use it.

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                                    • E Offline
                                      Ecuadorian
                                      last edited by

                                      http://icanhascheezburger.wordpress.com/files/2008/01/funny-pictures-mythbuster-cat.jpg

                                      http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/01/jamie-hyneman.jpg

                                      -Miguel Lescano
                                      Subscribe to my house plans YouTube channel! (30K+ subs)

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                                      • Dave RD Offline
                                        Dave R
                                        last edited by

                                        A statistician was laying with his head in the oven and feet in the freezer. On the average, he felt fine.

                                        Etaoin Shrdlu

                                        %

                                        (THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE)

                                        G28 X0.0 Y0.0 Z0.0

                                        M30

                                        %

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                                        • GaieusG Offline
                                          Gaieus
                                          last edited by

                                          Letter from Sir Archibald Clerk Kerr (HM Ambassador Moscow 1943) to Lord Pembroke (Foreign Office London):

                                          "My Dear Reggie,
                                          In these dark days man tends to look for a little shaft of light that spill from Heaven. My days are probably darker then yours, and I need my God I do, all the light I can get. But I am a decent fellow, and I do not want to be mean and selfish about what little brightness is shed upon me from time to time. So I propose to share with you a tiny flash that has illuminated my somber life and tell you that God has given me a new Turkish colleague whose card tells me that he is called Mustapha Kunt.

                                          We all feel like that, Reggie, now and then, especially when spring is upon us, but few of us would care to put it on our cards. It takes a Turk to do that."

                                          C.K HM Ambassador

                                          Gai...

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                                          • E Offline
                                            Ecuadorian
                                            last edited by

                                            http://roflrazzi.wordpress.com/files/2009/01/celebrity-pictures-brosnan-bond.jpg

                                            -Miguel Lescano
                                            Subscribe to my house plans YouTube channel! (30K+ subs)

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