What Chores do your kids do

sorgesu · 14 Jan 2008, 12:05

Almost 6 years ago, when my daughter was in grade 7 ( she is in 12 now), she expressed outrage that one of her friends was required, before she was allowed to go out with friends after school, to sweep and wash the kitchen floor while here single working Mom was still at work.

I note today that few of her friends are required to do anything at all at home. We live in the suburbs and a good many of these kids come from some very comfortable families but most of them are too old to have nannies any more, so it is just Mom & Dad at home.

They never pack lunches ( always buy them) but when it is required, mom does it.
They MAY put dishes in the dish washer after dinner, but usually just put it on the counter and leave.
They DO NOT help with dinner preparation.
They DO NOT make their beds or freshen them in any way.
Their rooms are pig stys, with dirty clothing all over. ( the Cleaning lady picks up and does laundry once week).
They are not required to do any tasks of any kind. No sweeping, no cleaning, no unloading of dishes from the dishwasher, no laundry, nothing.
They don't so much as push in their chairs when they have stand up and leave from having been sitting at my kitchen table.
My daugher has had parties, even small ones, where the kids just leave and not a soul has thought to bring their dishes and garbage to the kitchen, much less stay and help her clean up.

My daughter insists that this is the norm out there. She says all the kids are really stresed from increasing school pressures and social pressure that were tough for all of us as teenagers, but are getting crazier and works.

Tell the truth, do your kids do much of anything at home?

tinanne · 14 Jan 2008, 12:43

What a great topic!

My kids have always had chores.... dishes, bathrooms, helping with dinner, lunches, laundry, general cleaning when I was a single working, homeschooling mom.

This became more difficult when we blended families as the practice was just a little different and I am still building my "roll" as a parent to my husbands children. It has been hard to expect my children to do these things, but not feel comfortable in expecting the same from the other half of children... we are working on that

Right now the chores are
Boys (teenagers)
do their own laundry,
make their own snacks, breakfast, clean up after themselves,
clean their rooms (although I am lax on this as I don't really care if they make their beds and have spotless rooms. I just want to be able to walk in there without needing a tetnus shot, if needed)
dishes (empty and fill)
clean dinner table,
13yr old will help/cook dinners at times
vacuum occasionally
keep bathrooms tidy, but I clean (clean occasionally)
bring in firewood, shoveling snow
help dad with cars and other maintanence on vehicles or house

Daughter (6)
put silverware away from dishwasher,
clean up after herself when eating, playing, homework
most of the time makes her own breakfast and snacks,
clean her room (again, as long as I can get in there it's good. Then we get in there together for a big "sweep" once in a while)
put her clean clothes away from laundry room

Susan, I know what you are saying. My husband and I have often talked about how different the responsibilities were with us and other kids when we were younger. We have made a commitment to teaching our kids to help family and friends and have good work ethics. It's so important. Our children can be very busy with school, sports, church, music (as most other kids are also) Our boys will soon be working, so I'm guessing there will be a shift and there are times when we, as parents, need to cut them some slack on household chores.... but it is important for children to have responsibilities in the family "house". They too will have children someday. Who will pass on the legacy if they don't learn these important, I think basic, principles now?

Daniel · 14 Jan 2008, 15:16

I'm not a parent, but I would say in general today's teens (here at least) are spoiled. Go by any school here and you'll see they are all driving new cars, usually expensive ones too. They shop at the expensive stores for clothes, they all have cell phones glued to their ears, not to mention all the other expensive electronic gadgets that society can't seem to live without. And they all seem to expect their parents to buy all this for them (and since they have it all, I guess they were correct).

Edson · 14 Jan 2008, 16:08

hi girls,

interesting topic indeed. i have four boys (26, 24,17 and 12); the two oldest ones are out of my direct influence (the oldest lives in london).

i see this kind of education as educating one's kids for life outside our home. it is a way of showing them you must live with other people, and this means sharing chores and being as little egotistical as possible. it has to do with thinking about others, with putting yourself in other people's place.

one big problem is that, as we live in a region where there are still many poor people, it is almost inevitable to have a maid who does the basic chores like cooking (from monday to friday), cleaning and doing the laundry. it is fairly cheap and it does not make any sense not to have one.

this being said, there is a series of things i try to get my kids to do.

keeping one's bedroom tidy (taking care of their clothes, keeping the wardrobe organized, etc);
keeping the living room tidy, which means not leaving their stuff behind when they go out or to bed;
taking their dishes to the sink or dishwasher on weekends. eventually washing the dishes by hand;
keeping bathrooms clean (a problem with boys);
being polite to their friends and older people;
getting interested in the world around them (yes, there is life beyond tv and internet);
paying attention to the needs of their friends, relatives and the people who serve them.

all in all, even considering the economic and cultural differences between countries, this aspect of our lives is quite similar, do you not think so?

cheers.

Ross Macintosh · 14 Jan 2008, 22:49

My 13-year-old son will turn on and watch the Roomba robot vacuum cleaner go through a whole charge.

sorgesu · 15 Jan 2008, 05:20

Funny Ross,
Looks like only those are answering who have some backbone and have managed to train their kids.

Okay, I confess. I was really bad at this. My kids, are the most slothfull, laziest and dependant kids. Of course it is all my fault because I'm an enabler. At least that's what they tell me.

remus · 15 Jan 2008, 07:25

as a child, i think i do a reasonable amount of work, altohugh i'm not likely to label myself a slacker!

To be honest i think it's actually very detrimental to not be doing these things by the time your 10 or so, i think you become far too dependant if you don't do anything for yourself and oyu get into bad habits, like leaving everything everywhere, because you're always expecting someone else to come and do everything for you.

sorgesu · 16 Jan 2008, 00:35

Sure, kick me when I'm down.

Actually, can I adopt you remus?

remus · 16 Jan 2008, 07:16

only if you can teach me how to use SU as well as you do