A Sharp Story
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C, E-flat and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.
D comes in and heads for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."
E-Flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "you're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural.Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility.
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oh-oh looks like a wide open invitation for music jokes:
What's the difference between an Uzi and an accordion player?
An Uzi stops after 20 rounds
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I love music jokes!!
%(#FF4000)[Why did God give bass drummers an IQ slightly better than that of a horse.
so they wouldn't disgrace themselves while marching in a parade.]
%(#0000FF)[What's the difference between an accordian and a trampoline?
You need to take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline!]
%(#00BF00)[How many accordian players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One is too many.]
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What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?
A drummer.
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Two drummers walk past a bar... come on, it could happen.
What did the Bass player get on his IQ test? Drool
How can you tell if an orchestra stage is level? There is drool coming out of both sides of the Viola players mouth.
How is an orchestra different than a bull? On a bull the horns are in the front and the ass is in the back.
How do trumpet players greet each other? Hi, I'm better than you!
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Why do bagpipers always walk when they play?
To get away from the noise...
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What do you expect to see from a crowd while Green Day plays American Idiot? A mosh pile the size of a Waffel House. Green Day predicted the future.
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Bagpipes. . ..You gotta love em. .. the only musical instrument I know of that was meant to be a weapon.
Bagpipes Sound like haggis tastes!
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Here is a whole bunch of music jokes
http://www.prestonbeachwood.com/jokes.html
I like the several variations on "perfect pitch" "perfect pitch - its when you throw the (fill in your most hated instrument) into the toilet and it doesn't hit the rim" - Or "its when you throw your (fill in the blank) into the dumpster and it lands directly on the bagpipes (or accordian, etc.)."
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Three men and a hotel
you´ve got three days to get the answer or if you know it say it
if troubled you can always find the answer here
http://www.hive-mind.com/mindgames/hotel/ -
Tricky way of describing that one, Juan! They do not pay 29. They pay 27, in TOTAL.
It goes like this:Manager:
+30 -5 = 25
Bellboy:
+5 -5 +2 = 2
Three men:
-30 +5 -2 = -27 = 3*9 = 30 -3whichever way you put it.
The problem adds numbers that oughtn't be added. -
@unknownuser said:
**":3fscn8mt]
The problem adds numbers that oughtn't be added.correct
it was tricky
cheers -
did you hear about the bass player who locked the drummer in the car?
baz
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