Fun little game: Part Deux, continued...
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Before he could finish his sentence, the Hungarian was interrupted by a voice behind him.
"Not so fast"!
Clenching his fists in rage, hitman Gaieus spun around cursing to see the fool who dared to interrupt him.
"Ah, it's my archnemisis, Boofredlaaaaaaaaay."Meanwhile, hidden in the shadows, bidding his time, was a mysterious yellow man who was more than meets the eye. At last seeing his opportunity with the current commotion, he sneaked out and collected the pink pile that was formerly known as Kevin the Office tea Boy (whatever that is).
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The Mysterious Yellow Man (MYM) is infact from Shangri-La, now returning to his homeland, having explored and being disillusioned by the world outside Shangri-La. Taking pity on Kevin, or whatever is left of him, MYM reached into the deep folds of his robe and fished out his Magic Wand. Using chants and hand movements passed on by his forefathers, he waved his Magic Wand over Kevin, or whatever is left of him, over and over again, in slow studied motion. Slowly but surely, Kevin reincarnated into an even more handsome copy of his original self. He is now almost as handsome as Ross.
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Quickly patching a few minor glitches on Kevin with duct tape, the mysterious yellow man, Tobobo, who really was more than meets the eye, quickly exited for Shangri-La, also known as Birmingham, UK.
Meanwhile, Gaieus the Hungarian Hit-man and his archnemisis Boofredlay are in a death struggle. The tall and powerfully built Ross saw an opening and...
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... went to Starbucks for a mocha half caff latte. Suddenly Gaieus realized it was refreshment time and made a dash for the pub... Boofredlay had more pressing matters. It was refreshment time for Boo as well but for the flesh of an office tea boy, and he knows exactly what that is.
Mouth watering he is guided by instinct and quickly tracks Kevin down. Kevin never saw it coming. Seeing that he was freshly reincarnated Kevin just couldn't keep it together and it only took one blow to the chest and he was shattered to dust once again.
Adding him to milk, Boofredlay enjoyed what tasted like his childhood favorite. Strawberry Quick. Mmm tasty.
Now, back to finding Gaieus again... -
Boo was suddenly seized by an agonizing stomach cramp, which became so intense he fell to the ground and began writhing on the ship’s deck in excruciating pain. He began foaming at the mouth, his plump form shivering and shaking so violently it became a mass of convulsing pink flesh.
Finally, this writhing mass began to relax and where there had once been the short, rounded form of Boofredlaaaaaaaaay, Gaiieus’s supposed arch nemesis [He was actually the devil, Lucifer in disguise – Why else would he eat our hero?] there, lay before us the clean-cut, honest, generous, and nearly as handsome as DASH RIPROCK - none other, than that miracle of nature, Kevin, Tea Boy Extraordinaire.
Emerging from the shadows, behind this recumbent form, there appeared the unmistakable shape of Kevin’s guardian angel, in the form of . . . . . . . .
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Boofredlay. Boo, realizing that he was now an immortal guardian angel for the new Kevin, which isn't the old Kevin at all, decided that he would...
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...devote his entire life to serving mankind and protecting office tea boys through the powers of SketchUp. In order to do this, he realized he must forgo all wordly distractions and vowed to live the rest of his life in complete, eternal celibacy. With that in mind, he pulled out his portable welding torch and titanium strips he happened to have in his pocket, and fashioned himself a permanent chastity belt. Full of self righteous goodness, Boofredlay turned to Kevin.....and found him gone. Where he once was, the shattered remains of a martini glass. In the distance, a coyote howled.
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Boofredlay then heard a voice say "How can you protect someone if you don't know where they are?" and being a very wishy washy person and easily frustrated. He got angry that Kevin was gone and vowed to kill him so that he could be free from the duty of "Guardian Angel".
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Boo woke with a start.
"Man what a weird dream" he said as he lumbered out of bed.
"Why on earth would I want to kill my own brother" mumbled boo.
Before bed I have got to stop eating... -
...chocolate-covered haggis. Mmmmmmmmmm Haggis." Feeling hungry for the minced sheep inards, Boofredlay made his way to the kitchen.
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It was a long way to the kitchen. Boo was a very wealthy man and so like other very wealthy people he lived in a very big house. It was what was expected of wealthy people. It came with the job. Since his house was so big it took Boo nearly twenty minutes to reach the kitchen. There he found his kitchen staff busy making him a feast. He nodded in acknowledgement then said "I'll be in the dining room" and headed that way. Since the dining room was next to the kitchen it wasn't a very long walk but it was a rather large dining room and Boo's favorite chair was at the far end of the table. Eventually he arrived and sat down. His staid butler pushed in Boo's chair and passed him a folded newspaper. Boo went straight to the financial news and was shocked by the headline: "Tea Market Collapse". Boo's face went pale. He...
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knew a financial secret few even suspected. The world's economy, nay, the very foundations of Western Civilisation itself, rested upon a bedrock of tea. Now that foundation was crumbling. Boo was correct to be worried. What would happen to him and the rest of the robber tea barons? Who could cause this? Boofredlay suspected the Coffee Consortium, headed by...
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..... his fellow Capitalistic robber baron, the evil drug lord and environmental rapist, The Mysterious Yellow Man, Tobobo who, at this very moment was ensconced in his extravagant mansion, Shangri-La in Birmingham UK with Kevin, Tea Boy Extraordinaire, whom he had also promised to protect from the infamous and impotent Boo.
Tobobo, being skilled in the science of horticulture and landscape design, used Shangri-La and its extensive laboratories to .......
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create a stronger more potent strain of super tea, in a bid to save the world economy from the imminent collapse. This scheme (evil or good for you to decided) came to the attention of....
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...the all seeing and powerful Dr. Hagan. Dr. Bernard Hagan. Disguised as a mild-mannered school teacher, Dr. Hagan was actually head of a super secret Australian scientific agency working deep under the ice of Antarctica. Tired of being referred to as "down under," Australia was building the world's largest super magnet machine, the brainchild of Dr. Hagan. Once initiated, the machine would force all the World's compasses to point south. Down would suddenly be up. All the maps would have to be reprinted flipped. Australia would finally be "on top."
Bernard, noticing the alarming turn of events, smiled inwardly. He knew the war between tea and coffee was actually a boon to him. With the World's beverage drinkers focused on them, they were less likely to notice the odd going-ons at the South Pole. For instance, Antarctic penguins suddenly becoming "magnetized."
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What was frustrating for Dr Hagan was that his Snow cat’s keys kept flying out his pocket and attaching themselves to a random penguin; which would wander off into the crowd. The other problem experienced by the Doc was that Dwaine (the lab's live-in tea boy) persisted on messing with the polarity of the magnetisation machine and therefore giving the penguins opposite magnetism. This resulted in the hapless birds either being attached together at great speed or being repelled. One such bird landed on the Doc's snow cat making a rather large stone chip in the windscreen.
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Although Dwaine (the lab's live-in tea boy), seemed to be just "messing" with the controls. Our hero noticed a pattern. Suspecting . . .
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S4's involvement, the doc contacted Riprock, hearing of Dash's excellent handling of Kevin. Suddenly there was the sound of Helicopters and Dash bust in muscles rippling and sweat beading on his brow from the strain of breaking down the lab door. The doc stands up from behind the desk "The door was open you muscle bound fool!"
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"Yes, I know." Ross said with an exagerratd air of nonchalance, and then added "I like to impress myself", rolling the rrrr.
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As the rrrs rolled across the lab, the doctor jumped in surprise and told Dash . . .
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