Fun little game: Part Deux, continued...
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knew a financial secret few even suspected. The world's economy, nay, the very foundations of Western Civilisation itself, rested upon a bedrock of tea. Now that foundation was crumbling. Boo was correct to be worried. What would happen to him and the rest of the robber tea barons? Who could cause this? Boofredlay suspected the Coffee Consortium, headed by...
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..... his fellow Capitalistic robber baron, the evil drug lord and environmental rapist, The Mysterious Yellow Man, Tobobo who, at this very moment was ensconced in his extravagant mansion, Shangri-La in Birmingham UK with Kevin, Tea Boy Extraordinaire, whom he had also promised to protect from the infamous and impotent Boo.
Tobobo, being skilled in the science of horticulture and landscape design, used Shangri-La and its extensive laboratories to .......
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create a stronger more potent strain of super tea, in a bid to save the world economy from the imminent collapse. This scheme (evil or good for you to decided) came to the attention of....
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...the all seeing and powerful Dr. Hagan. Dr. Bernard Hagan. Disguised as a mild-mannered school teacher, Dr. Hagan was actually head of a super secret Australian scientific agency working deep under the ice of Antarctica. Tired of being referred to as "down under," Australia was building the world's largest super magnet machine, the brainchild of Dr. Hagan. Once initiated, the machine would force all the World's compasses to point south. Down would suddenly be up. All the maps would have to be reprinted flipped. Australia would finally be "on top."
Bernard, noticing the alarming turn of events, smiled inwardly. He knew the war between tea and coffee was actually a boon to him. With the World's beverage drinkers focused on them, they were less likely to notice the odd going-ons at the South Pole. For instance, Antarctic penguins suddenly becoming "magnetized."
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What was frustrating for Dr Hagan was that his Snow cat’s keys kept flying out his pocket and attaching themselves to a random penguin; which would wander off into the crowd. The other problem experienced by the Doc was that Dwaine (the lab's live-in tea boy) persisted on messing with the polarity of the magnetisation machine and therefore giving the penguins opposite magnetism. This resulted in the hapless birds either being attached together at great speed or being repelled. One such bird landed on the Doc's snow cat making a rather large stone chip in the windscreen.
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Although Dwaine (the lab's live-in tea boy), seemed to be just "messing" with the controls. Our hero noticed a pattern. Suspecting . . .
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S4's involvement, the doc contacted Riprock, hearing of Dash's excellent handling of Kevin. Suddenly there was the sound of Helicopters and Dash bust in muscles rippling and sweat beading on his brow from the strain of breaking down the lab door. The doc stands up from behind the desk "The door was open you muscle bound fool!"
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"Yes, I know." Ross said with an exagerratd air of nonchalance, and then added "I like to impress myself", rolling the rrrr.
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As the rrrs rolled across the lab, the doctor jumped in surprise and told Dash . . .
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"Dash, with deep shame I feel I must admit my secret to you because you are such a perfect person and I am so very flawed. I'm not a real Doctor. I bought my degree from..."
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Kevin the Office tea Boy (whatever that is - and he's a teacher of tea). In fact, I am only qualified to serve you the very best in fine teas from the world over in the finest silver tea service. The doctor opens his lab coat and pulls out a silver . . .
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... surfer comic book and begins to read.
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Suddenly overcome with deep seatd shame and humility, Ross/Dash fell to his knees. "Oh the humanity" he cried out to the startled Dr. Hagen, and a few startled magnetized penguins. "I cannot go on anymore with this lie! I am not a tall, powerfully-built, incredibly handsome man of intrigue."
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As you know I am tall, powerfully-built, highly intelligent, and incredibly handsome, but I must acknowledge that I am no longer a man of intrigue. My cover was blown when I was featured as 'People' magazine's Sexiest Man 2006. Now I can't go anywhere without people knowing I'm a spy. The 'intrigue' part has really become difficult. Given the circumstances, in place of the intrigue I find I have to rely on my wit, compassion, the magnetic attraction that pulls others to me, and my modesty.
Enough of the sob story! Each day remains a new adventure. We must analyze the situation at hand and determine or best course of action. We have no time to waste...
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...in finding Dash's talent for the 2008 Miss world pageant as last year the rendition of 'the star spangled banner' bombed due to world tensions brought on by the tea crisis.
Mean while in Shangri-La; Toby had failed in his attempt to win the best gingerbread house due to a case of the couch potatoes. But his tea scheme suffered no such fate, as Kevin the tea boy had not wasted the holidays by watching crappy movies and eating vast quantities of food. Ah no our plucky hero was.....
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sewing sequins to his bathing suit. It was all part of his new plan....to be part of the first all male team to compete in synchronized swimming at the Olympics. And his partner was none other than Prince Edward (to the chagrin of Edward's wife).
Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, Tennessee to be exact, Daniel was returning from a hunting trip and ruminating on the odd prey he had bagged; a talking moose and a gray flying squirrel. What was even more amazing to Daniel was that before he mixed that cold medicine with the bottle of Bailey's he had never even picked up a gun, much less hunted.
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Little did Daniel realize that back on the other side of the world . . . Bali in fact . . . Kevin, our plucky hero had cast aside foolish sequined fripperies and all associations with any country whose head of state was not democratically elected . . . so that he could save the planet from the looming disaster of global warming . . .
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However, although he had surprisingly mastered the science of brewing tea in all it's permuatations, he was, to be honest, somewhat dim-witted, as illustrated by the rather odd situations he repeatedly found himself in. Our poor hero, Kevin the Office Tea Boy (whatever that is) failed to grasp the nature of the problem, and instead concentrated on the literal meaning of the three word 'global', 'warming', and 'problem'. With an alarming speed often displayed by such people when left to their own devices without supervision, KTOTB was nearly complete constructing his global air conditioner before anyone realized what was happening. Bali USED to be a nice place.
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. . . and still is, despite the influx of moneyed, European, American and Australian tourists who have tried, like the infamous and Mysterious Yellow Man, Tobobo, to subvert this tropical paradise into their particular distorted, criminal and vandalized view of Shangri-La.
Unfortunately for them Kevin, Office Tea Boy Extraordinaire was, at this very moment hard at work fabricating his miraculous global air conditioner based on knowledge gained from his secret research at the lair of his guardian Tobobo, the Mysterious Yellow Man in Birmingham, UK.
To the less perceptive and those of weaker and purely academic intellect, KOTBE, appeared dimwitted and always in a muddle - however his global air conditioner to save the world from global warming was a brilliant concept, based on the completely opposite principals as current, polluting, energy wasting air-conditioners. It used basic organic laws of photosynthesis, convectional air flow and the phenomenal absorption of carbon dioxide by specially designed plants – especially TEA [Camellia sinensis var. magnificum].
As he worked, single mindedly on his invention, KOTBE, was unaware that he was being observed. From his headquarters in Birmingham, UK the yellow hand of Tobobo, TMYM adjusted the image on his surveillance monitor. His large eyes bulged even more at what he saw . . . .
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He could see German agent Franziska Loewenkatze in the background and she was chowing down on what looked like a deep-fried turkey drumstick! Tobobo was astounded. Not at the size of the huge drumstick or her gusto in eating it, but that she was there at all. What the hell was his old flame Franziska doing there with Kevin? The Argentina Incident of 1999 was the last time Tobobo had seen Franziska. She had double-crossed him and broken his heart.
As the emotions bubbled back up to the surface and a few tears formed in Tobobo's eyes, he could hear Kevin the Tea Boy saying to Franziska...
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