CHUCK NORRIS
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One of my favs: Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer, but he never cries. Ever.
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Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.
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Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down
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Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked about this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
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Chuck Norris' iPod came with a real charger instead of just a USB cord
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My favorite is " Chuck Norris does not believe in the periodic table as he knows there is only one element, the element of surprise".
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i love this one:
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*** down
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Chuck Norris can delete the recycle bin.
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Chuck Norris eats transformer toys in vehicle mode and poos them out transformed into a robot.
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Chuck Norris runs Vista in an etch-sketch.
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
Some folk pee their name in the snow, Chuck Norris pees his name in concrete.
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If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: Chuck Norris.
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The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
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When Chuck Norris was born, the only person who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
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The Chuck Norris version of Lord of the rings is 10 minutes long, as he destroyed the ring as soon as he was given it.
Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.
Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
Chuck Noris has already been to Mars. That's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Noris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease"
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
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Chuck Norris is one quarter Cherokee....nothing to do with his ancestry, the man just ate a Jeep.
When you spell Chuck Norris wrong in Google it doesn't ask "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" it says "Run...while you still have the chance."
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@unknownuser said:
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
what a wonderfully ambiguous one.
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@solo said:
Chuck Noris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
easily my favourite so far.
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