English is crazy

boofredlay

Can you read these correctly the first time?

The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it
A buck does funny things when the does are present.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow
Blowing wind was too strong to wind the sail.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this.
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is "UP."

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, come UP with time wasting posts, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! If you want to learn more about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.

When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.
Fess UP...you like this don’t you?

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP so it is time for me to shut UP!

WORD UP!

Gaieus

Eric,

I feel like back to school again. I can still recall all these things when they were giving us hard times and we were just f***ed UP!

Krisidious

speaking of that Gai... F%@k is one of the most usable words in the english dictionary

Will03

you are referring of course to the (monty python skit?) on the definition of F(*K?

funny stuff...

to bring up the attention of up though, solved in 11 short definitions (MarrianWebster dictionary)
1 a (1) : in or into a higher position or level; especially : away from the center of the earth (2) : from beneath the ground or water to the surface (3) : from below the horizon (4) : UPSTREAM 1 (5) : in or into an upright position <sit up>; especially : out of bed b : upward from the ground or surface <pull up a daisy> c : so as to expose a particular surface
2 : with greater intensity <speak up>
3 a : in or into a better or more advanced state b : at an end <your time is up> c : in or into a state of greater intensity or excitement d : to or at a greater speed, rate, or amount <prices went up> e : in a continual sequence : in continuance from a point or to a point <from third grade up> <at prices of $10 and up> <up until now>
4 a (1) : into existence, evidence, prominence, or prevalence (2) : into operation or practical form b : into consideration or attention <bring up for discussion>
5 : into possession or custody
6 a : ENTIRELY, COMPLETELY <button up your coat> b -- used as an intensifier <clean up the house>
7 : in or into storage : BY <lay up supplies>
8 a : so as to arrive or approach b : in a direction conventionally the opposite of down: (1) : to windward (2) : NORTHWARD (3) : to or at the top (4) : to or at the rear of a theatrical stage
9 : in or into parts
10 : to a stop -- usually used with draw, bring, fetch, or pull
11 : for each side <the score is 15 up>

Krisidious

actually I was referring to George Carlin, but maybe he stole the bit from Monty Python...

eitherway its all true...