In the mail today...

tomsdesk · 14 Jan 2008, 15:42

...sorry, didn't have time to clean up the carrots:

To those of us who have children in our lives,
whether they are our own,
grandchildren,
nieces,
nephews,
or students...
here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control,
you can take comfort from the thought that
even God's omnipotence did not extend
to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth,
God created Adam and Eve.
And the first thing he said was
" DON'T !"

"Don 't what ? "
Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit."
God said.

"Forbidden fruit ?
We have forbidden fruit ?
Hey Eve..we have forbidden fruit ! "

" No Way ! "
"Yes way ! "

"Do NOT eat the fruit ! "
said God.

"Why ? "

"Because I am your Father and I said so ! "
God replied,
wondering why He hadn't stopped
creation after making the elephants
A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break
and He was ticked !
"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit ? "
God asked.

"Uh huh,"
Adam replied.

"Then why did you ? "
said the Father.

"I don't know,"
said Eve.
"She started it! "
Adam said.

"Did not ! "
"Did too ! "
"DID NOT ! "

Having had it with the two of them,
God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
should have children of their own.
Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and
they haven't taken it,
don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children,
what makes you think it would be
a piece of cake for you ?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT !

You spend the first two years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

Grandchildren are God's reward
for not killing your own children.

Mothers of teens now know why
some animals eat their young.

Children seldom misquote you.
In fact,
they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said

The main purpose of holding children's parties
is to remind yourself that there are children
more awful than your own

We childproofed our homes,
but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your
nursing home one day

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS
ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN"
AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!!

jenujacob · 14 Jan 2008, 15:48

suddenly its all so clear to me!!!!

Ray Brown · 14 Jan 2008, 16:46

Tom:

Fabulous! Thanks for the laugh.

Ray

sorgesu · 15 Jan 2008, 05:28

Ray only says that because he was on the same cruise we were on at Christmas time and he got to see my kids in action. The whole dern drama above must have been written about them.

Ray Brown · 15 Jan 2008, 15:24

@sorgesu said:

Ray only says that because he was on the same cruise we were on at Christmas time and he got to see my kids in action. The whole dern drama above must have been written about them.

No, I say that because I've seen a lot of kids in action, including my own! For good parents, both its joys and its frustrations are pretty universal.