Writer's Thread
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Wow, that was really good. I'm not just saying this, it is fantastic! keep you your writing, i loved how you ended it! I'll make a little analysis if you don't mind!
I love how you portray the Aliens at first. You make them seem so evil, so dark. Maclean hated the Aliens; only when he was under their probes did he feel any sort of compassion. As the story went on, i seemed to notice something. Mclean and the Aliens started to mirror each other. What I mean is, towards the end, Maclean got desperate for water, much like the Aliens were desperate for life. Water does represent life, doesn't it? As Maclean became parched, he maybe began to connect with the Aliens because he was shown how it felt to be desperate, even if this was an accident. His mind was opened (maybe the mind probing had another goal, maybe they wanted him to see their desperation, facing the extinction that they were so desperately avoiding and trying to help other species to avoid) to the view and situation of the Aliens.
Let me go back to the water if you would let me. Ironically, to the Aliens water is not a source of life but rather a death trap which caused them to go insane. I don't think Maclean hated the Aliens. I think he, upon being driven to insanity himself by the lack of water, used the water against them. However, i think he would've done this even if he was hydrated, as he wanted to escape. I do, however, believe that if he were hydrated, he would have felt sorrow for the cold and lifeless body of Ren`Tikdanak, as opposed to the assumed adrenaline he got out of it. Water can also been seen as an obscuring factor (like looking through water, images get distorted in position). Now which of these was true? Were the Aliens' probes distorting his mind and psychologically wearing him out, causing him to hate them with every ounce of his being; or was it the water, or lack thereof, that caused him to lose his true sense of sight, making him desperately insane. Does this resemble the position of the Aliens in a way ("this"= 2nd view of the distortion), but flipped? The Aliens are driven to madness by water, yes. But the major parallel i see here is the aliens' food being like water! It gave them life (water symbolizes life), and without it, they are driven to madness.
I think Maclean finally realized that the world doesn't revolve around the Terrans, but that life or the means for its continuation should never be taken away from a person(s) simply because they are seen as different than us. Maybe Maclean was right. Maybe we are in a bit over our heads. Maybe we all are depriving life from another thing. Maybe we all could learn from the Aliens. Maybe...but now it's too late. It's not right!
Great story, PinkSkink! I loved it! Please keep writing! And i wouldn't be offended if my analysis is totally off, its just my view of it! haha, i even left some stuff out due to time and stuff, if you want i can keep going on about the main body of the story. Thanks for the great piece of writing PinkSkink!
Best Wishes,
Evan B aka NOLA Saint -
Wow, Joshua, you stole what i was going to say about the main body! Lol! I was typing that long essay (XD) and i saw you replyed when i wass typing. I'll offer my view on that later if ya'll want! Also i forgot to give my Rating with my review xP
RATING: ★★★★☆ (4 stars out of 5 - Great!)
--There were some elements where i think you could have explained more. For instance, right after Maclean drives the Aliens insane, you jump to him talking about what happened. Maybe you could've elaborated on his feelings during and immediately following the rescue. Maybe you could've put that in a sequence! Emotions during events (main story) emotions during and immediately after rescue, and feelings in hindsight! Im just saying it would have a natural sequence to it if you added more about the rescue. Overall great! Kept me very very interested and i love the ending! (though i feel bad for the Aliens x(...) -
Thanks for the comments, everyone!
Nola, you're dead on with most of your analysis. This quote:
@unknownuser said:
I think Maclean finally realized that the world doesn't revolve around the Terrans, but that life or the means for its continuation should never be taken away from a person(s) simply because they are seen as different than us. Maybe Maclean was right. Maybe we are in a bit over our heads. Maybe we all are depriving life from another thing. Maybe we all could learn from the Aliens. Maybe...but now it's too late. It's not right!
Is exactly the point of my story. I had originally planned to just end with the irony that water, which is life to us, is death to them. But then I thought, "Wait a minute. Nobody ever asks what happens to the aliens--they're always just portrayed as the villians and everyone is happy when they are defeated." So I decided to make them more sympathetic characters.
And I think you're right, too, about how Maclean would have felt about the death of Ren'Tikdanak if he hadn't been affected by the lack of water. He was a lot more sympathetic towards the aliens at the end of the story.
The reason why I didn't write about what he went through after he drove the aliens insane is probably because he wsa slowly going batty himself.
I really didn't know how to write like a person who's half-conscious and delusional for lack of water (as I've heard that's what dehydration does). 10 days is the maximum time a person can live without water, so he had to be in pretty bad shape by the time the supply ship arrived!And I'd love to see the rest of your analysis!
Joshua, I'm glad you enjoyed the story. I think that the only way Maclean could have been made to look at Terrans from his new point of view is if the alien's mind-probe influenced him. I don't really think that it would have been realistic any other way.
Nola, do you do any writing? Your analysis was quite masterful!
Thanks again for the comments!
--PinkSkink
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