If life was like the movies...
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America will win a war
Nerds and geeks get laid in the end
all homeless folk own a shopping cart
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You can zoom in on any image as far as you want and still have impeccable quality.
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Car tyres would squeal on every corner...even on dirt tracks.
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Every shopping bag would contain:
a) a baguette.
b) loose oranges which will scatter pleasingly when the bearer is startled by the inevitable passing high-speed car chase.
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Stretching ones arm out or a quick whistle will result in a cab stopping right in front of you instantaneously.
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Getting beaten up by 10 blokes armed with chains, pipes and sturdy boots is nothing to having your split lip dabbed by an attractive lady afterwards.
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If you have to make a quick getaway your car will never start first time and should your car then break down it will always be suffering from the same fault: an overheated engine/burst radiator resulting in clouds of steam emanating from beneath the bonnet/hood.
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The interiors of houses rarely correspond with the outside.
All small U.S. towns are picturesque with historic buildings in excellent conditions.
People who live in New York have spacious apartments, no matter what their living is.
High schoolers have plenty of time between classes to meet with friends and discuss those events germain to the plot. They also frequently have access to the school at night.
Architects can whip up a design, complete with model and presentations, in just a few days. -
Aliens only land in America
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@jackson said:
If you have to make a quick getaway your car will never start first time and should your car then break down it will always be suffering from the same fault: an overheated engine/burst radiator resulting in clouds of steam emanating from beneath the bonnet/hood.
Similarly, the ability to start your car is proportional to the proximity of any chainsaw wielding maniacs.
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the boy always gets the girl....
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... criminals would throw away their guns after having emptied them.
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If life was like the movies. . . .
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You would "meet Cute" beautiful perky girls who just had a bad break up but just can't give up on love. . .and they fall for You, of course--after many hilarious hi-jinks. (any Meg Ryan Film)
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No matter how tough life is financially, you can still afford a really great house/apartment/condo in NYC or San Fransisco. (any Meg Ryan Film)
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If you had a job in that movie it would be one of those great movie jobs where you actually don't ever have to be at work--but can spend all afternoon in a cute little cafe or restaurant. . .discussing items one or two.
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You would have your own Soundtrack of top 40 and/or retro oldie hits following you around.
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You would burst into song, for no apparent reason.
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All fat/homely people are objects of fun and ridicule. They are not allowed to have a life of their own. they exist only to be cheerleaders for the perky cute people and their relationship woes.
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You could eat 50 hard boiled eggs in one sitting and still look like Paul Newman rather than George Kennedy.
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With a few minutes of training and a cool soundtrack you can go from a total zero to world champion martial arts champ.
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No NYPD station house would have been redecorated since 1954
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All women could go to sleep wearing full makeup and wakeup with it perfectly in place the next morning.
Women could also lie down in bed and still have their boobies pointing skyward instead of separating and sliding down to either side. ( sorry guys)
No one ever has bad breath when they wake in the morning and are ready for passionate kissing with a loved one.
Love conquers all. All.
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Crime labs collect evidence, perform autopsies, analyze the data, and solve the crime all within a few days.
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@daniel said:
Crime labs collect evidence, perform autopsies, analyze the data, and solve the crime all within a few days.
...and all with the aid of a trusty (and revealing) blue light.
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...and a nice collection if you want some more: http://academic.sun.ac.za/forlang/bergman/tech/glossary/ebert_glos.htm
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Great collection.
One I didn't spot was:
Every defenceless character (usually female) being pursued by baddies (through the woods or down deserted city streets) will perambulate at a stumbling run and invariably trip over non-existent obstacles. The baddies, travelling at no faster pace than a determined walk, invariably catch them up.
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